epl: stoke v manchester united (0-2)
i have been too busy all week with moving and day job writing to write about this match. i’m still too busy, so i will sum it up in one ginormous run-on sentence…
the parental units, fresh in from the oh so cold d, lovingly accompanied me to the pub for this glorious occasion to see two midfielders in their mid-30’s, scholes and giggs, put on a vintage performance to win this tricky away fixture for united despite a frustrating start of the match that saw the visitors stymied in front of the net by a team full of brutes and ogres and giants and a special teams player with rocket launcher arms for throw ins who oddly enough did not even throw the ball long on that many occasions and instead opted to throw the ball short as my madre enjoyed a coke and my father and i enjoyed brew from ireland and a few of the drunken regulars pounded drinks in the front of the establishment after visibly (and audibly) being out all night drinking without souring their deep appreciation for john o’shea’s goal despite their slurring celebrations which followed berbatov’s goal which were both supplied from super-sub’s ryan gigg’s lovely passes that seemed to be suspended in a time and age free realm but also reinforced the fact for my father and i that there will be a time when sir alex will not be able to put on a 35 year old and 36 year old as game-changing impact subs and count on another little ginger 34 year old who goes by the name of saint scholes to put in a vintage man of the match performance with disturbingly crisp deliveries and long balls that were so pinpoint they hurt my eye balls as i watched them on the large retractable but certainly not hd projector screen at the pub and sipped a magners before heading out into the coolish fall air to have a delectable mexican breakfast.
scholes sighting: man of the match.
most terrifying bottle noticed behind the bar: i sat at a table for the first time this season, but i’m just going to say watermelon pucker, b/c i tastes like a mixture of jollyranchers and industrial cleaner and i’m sure it’s somewhere behind the bar.
